Jay-Z and Beyoncé are moving to Los Angeles, TMZ reported today. The cross-country shift is permanent enough that the couple have enrolled their daughter Blue Ivy at an "elite private school" that TMZ says costs $15,080 per year, but refuses to name. Why?

There is new Usher news and new sex tape news: TMZ is reporting that there is an Usher sex tape, showing the singer and his ex-wife Tameka Raymond, and that it is being shopped around by a mysterious figure.

It was only last year that Amanda Bynes—tossing bongs out of windows, lighting dogs on fire—was briefly one of the most unpredictable celebrities in America. But last September she entered into rehab and since then she's only been in the press on her own terms. That is, until today: TMZ is reporting that Bynes was picked up for a DUI early this morning.

Last night, TMZ posted a story claiming—based on a statement from the Beverly Hills Police Department—former Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland was in jail after stealing razors from a CVS with a bunch of meth in his pockets. Turns out it was just some other guy, though. Whoops!

Buzzfeed's story about the history of TMZ quickly gets to the foundation of TMZ's power: It's often not what the gossip site does publish, but what it doesn't. Early on in the article, writer Anne Helen Petersen makes mention of the "TMZ Vault," the affectionate name for Harvey Levin's trove of scandalous, unpublished, and presumably leveraged material. But why should its contents stay secret?

When a video of pop star Justin Bieber making racist jokes was published last week by British tabloid The Sun, it was hard to tell who lost more: Bieber, or TMZ, which purchased the video years ago and has used it to extort appearances and call-ins from Bieber ever since.

Last night outside Supperclub in Los Angeles, the rappers T.I. and The Game had a fairly intense standoff with the LAPD after a few of their friends were badly beaten by club security. The only thing that prevented a brawl might have been the prying eyes of TMZ.

According to a report from TMZ, Zac Efron "mysteriously" ended up in downtown Los Angeles after midnight on Sunday. And while mysteriously cruising the streets of Skid Row with his bodyguard, poor, beautiful Efron was "cold clocked" in the mouth while trying to defend his bodyguard against an attacking group of "transients."

Dazed and Confused star Jason London can now deny the fact that he pooped himself in the back of a cop car, even though he admittedly pooped himself in the back of a cop car.

I will not write the longread on rape culture in the canine kingdom that I know you all were so desperately waiting for, but as far as tacky TMZ headlines go (which is a pretty low bar to begin with), "Amanda Seyfried's Dog Rapes Other Dog" is the absolute fucking worst.

Kanye West has just gone "postal" on photographer at LAX, or so says TMZ in their exclusive report. According to their sources, paramedics are still on the scene.

Dispatches From The Hated will be a recurring feature penned by a person who worked the paparazzi beat for three years. We'll call him American Ex-Pap so he remains anonymous.

Welcome to Hit List Wishlist, where we feature excerpts from some of the best manifestos and tips we've received so far. We still want more — so keep 'em comin.