One of the fabulous things about being a celebrity is people will listen to you talk about anything you want to talk about—even if you straight up admit you have no idea what it is you’re talking about.

It’s officially safe to presume Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis—two beautiful famous people with an arguable talent for emoting—have entered a contract of holy matrimony. Or maybe they got married again. Who knows? These are the great mysteries of our time and they reveal themselves at their will, not ours.

Sometimes our enemies present themselves to us plainly from the start, like Helena Erdman, who stomped on my foot backstage during the 9th grade musical before I even had a chance to tell her that I didn't like her hair (which I did not). Other times, they lie in wait, plotting the perfect moment to reveal themselves as haters. John Corbett, the 54-year-old American actor known for his roles on Sex and The City and My Big Fat Greek Wedding, has just revealed himself as a hater.