We Remember Scott Disick: Keeping Up With the Kontinuity Errors, a Tearful Goodbye
When exactly did Scott Disick cheat on Kourtney? Kris Jenner is on a yacht, but where, when, and with whom? Every week, keen-eyed Kardashians scholar Mariah Smith uses paparazzi photos, gossip-blog coverage, the family’s own Instagram and Twitter accounts, and common sense, to investigate, and establish a detailed and accurate shooting schedule ofKeeping Up With the Kardashians—laying bare the distorted timelines and manufactured plotline of America’s royal family. Welcome to Keeping Up With the Kontinuity Errors.
On Sunday night’s episode the A-plot was Scott Disick’s exile from Kardashian Isle; the B-plot was Kris’ relationship with Corey Gamble (again); and the C-plot was Khloe’s beef with Caitlyn Jenner. Season 11 of Keeping Up With The Kardashians premieres in 5 weeks, so sadly we’ll have another break until November 16th. Save the tears for Scott and let’s sink our teeth into his demise!
Scene 1: Filmed on June 21, 2015
Khloe Kardashian is over at high fashion model Kendall Jenner’s condo, eating noodles, while the model prances about for a clothing fitting. Thankfully, Khloe feeds Kendall some of her noodles and confirms that models do in fact eat, Kendall especially eats “like, burgers and shit.” Khloe takes a break from extolling Kendall’s meal plan to FaceTime with Kris Jenner, who is on a yacht. Khloe is startled to see that Kris’ “friend” Corey Gamble is on the yacht with her, and Khloe is thankful she didn’t “say anything crazy.” Kendall’s fitting and Khloe’s FaceTime with Kris was filmed on June 21, 2015.
Scene 5: Filmed on May 23, 2015
Kourtney Kardashian is in Vegas with the father of her three children, Scott Disick. Kourtney thought it best to shadow Scott on his work obligation, so she brought her best krew to join them. While getting ready to depart for the club, Kourtney endures Scott’s gentlemanly behavior of calling her and her friends “bitches.” Kourtney and Scott’s last night out on the town was filmed May 23, 2015.
Scene 7/Scene 8: Filmed on June 29, 2015
Kris Jenner touches down in LAX with her friend, Corey Gamble. It’s Kylie’s move-in day, so Kris goes straight from the airport to Kylie’s house. Kylie’s new crib is the hottest spot in Calabasas, because both Khloe and Kourtney show up to help her move as well. This is obviously a massive stepping stone for Miss Kylie Kristen Jenner, but my staff has all been notified that if they ever ask me to help them move when there’s a gaggle of movers there doing the physical moving then they will be both fired and exiled.
Kourtney and Kylie watch movers arrange furniture while Khloe and Mason take selfies. Kris shows up with Corey and Khloe feigns surprise at Corey’s presence. Once Corey leaves and Kris gets into glam at Kylie’s house, Khloe grills her mom on her relationship with Corey. Khloe calls him Kris’ “boyfriend,” to which Kris responds with the childlike giggle of a 60-year-old. Kylie’s family “helped her move” on June 29, 2015.
Scene 10: Filmed on July 7, 2015
Kourtney Marie Kardashian, Kim (née Noel) Kardashian West, and Khloe Alexandra Kardashian, put on their sharpest whites for an afternoon on the town in West Lake, California. As the sisters take selfies and grab lunch together. Kourtney’s mind is elsewhere, because Scott’s apparently been MIA for a few days on a “crazy bender.” While at the table, Kourtney takes various calls from Scott’s friends updating her on what’s going on. On the phone with Scott’s good friend, Chris, she explains that he called her assistant Megan and asked her to order him a private plane to Anguila. He claims to have lost his wallet, and needs assistance. Kim chimes in and tells Kourtney that this is “not your problem, not your fucking problem.” This scene was filmed on July 7, 2015. Curiously enough, this is two days after Scott was caught cheating on Kourtney on July 2nd.
Scene 14: Filmed on July 2, 2015
Kimberly West is at her mother Kris Jenner’s home. The two chat in the kitchen, and Kris tries out her Dali Laima outfit for Kim, with whom she will be meeting the following Sunday. While filming, Kim gets a call from her cousin CiCi. Ever the professional, Kim asks if she can call her back, as one does when a family member calls during business hours. CiCi hits her with that quick, “no no no!” and goes on to tell Kim about the top story of the day: Scott’s nasty old man ways in France. Kim puts CiCi on speaker phone, and Kris is immediately mortified. Kim, however, has a grim smirk on her face basically exposing herself as a Scott truther who has been waiting to expose homeboy for years. As the scene ends, Kris says, “I feel bad for Kourtney,” and Kim responds, “Yeah, but maybe, you know, it’s time.” The lid to Scott’s charmed world is blown off on July 2, 2015. Bye, Scott!
Scene 15: Filmed on July 6, 2015
Kim and Khloe visit Kris Jenner at Kris Jenner’s house. Khloe interrogates Kris about whether or not she loves Corey, and Kris admits to loving him and having too much sex with him. The sex pushed her to the point of exhaustion, but she’s in love! Beautiful. When this is all said and done, Kourtney shows up, but gets pulled away to take yet another call from Scott’s friend, Chris. After the call, Kourtney tells Kris and and Kim that Chris said Scott has been frantically calling him, “hysterically crying and being like ‘I love you.’ Just like suicidal talk.” Kourtney tells her family that she was advised by Scott’s prior rehab facility to call 911 because she would rather be safe than sorry. Kim and Kris, however, think the best course of action is to get Scott thrown in jail with “no one to bail him out.” This scene was filmed on July 6, 2015.
Scene 17: Filmed on July 2, 2015
In the final scene of Season 10 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kim visits Kourtney at Kourtney’s house. Kourtney immediately breaks down into tears, and confesses that this whole Scott situation has left her on the verge of a mental breakdown. Kim thinks that Kourtney just needs to move on and take Scott’s toxic energy out of her life. Kim also tells Kourtney, who is also hurting for her kids, that she just needs to move on from her eight year relationship. Kourtney knows she’s better off, and that she’s leading a better example for her kids by removing them from this toxic situation. Kim’s glam is the same as Scene 14, so we know that this scene was also filmed on July 2, 2015.
What follows is basically an In Memoriam to Scott on Keeping Up. Kourtney, along with the producers, have made up their minds that she’s completely done with Scott. Kim, who has shown no sympathy towards Scott, knows in her “heart of hearts” that Kourtney is doing the right thing. Thanks, Kim.
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened, dolls! I’ll see you all next month for another re-cap of KUWKim Kardashian’s Puppets on KUWTKE. #PoorPenelope
Images from E!
Mariah Smith is writer and comedic performer who keeps up with the Kardashians. For more Keeping Up With The Kontinuity Errors click here. You can follow her on Twitter @mRiah.