Bummed that the giant inflatable Jabba the Hutt costume beat your Despicable Me minion at last weekend's Halloween party? Have no fear, your costume for Halloween night could really get tongues wagging, if you know what I mean: Kristen Schaal's sexy vagina.

As The Daily Show's Women's Issues Correspondent, Schaal appeared on the show last week to satirically support the hypersexualization of women on Halloween, scold Jon Stewart for his sexual proclivities, and encourage even sexier costumes for women. Her suggestion to up the ante all the way? Doffing a giant silky costume of a "sexy vagina." (One Gawker staff member would like to note that the costume is, anatomically speaking, just a sexy vulva.)

The vulva/vagina is on sale on eBay (as of posting, bids are currently at $676). Some of the perks of enveloping yourself in the pillowy folds of Schaal's vagina? It "slips on and off. Warm. Feels like home." It has "ample pockets for...all the phone numbers you're gonna get for looking super-sexy," and is the "perfect outfit that will really upset your dad." What you do with the vagina is up to you, but the show implores you to not try to "screw it." The listing is only viewable if you have an eBay account and verify that you are over 18, but full listing below.

The auction closes on Wednesday the 30th, and if you pay within an hour, The Daily Show will have it to you in time for you to parade the streets during a ridiculous holiday while you terrify children and demand free food from strangers.

Is there a big hole in your Halloween wardrobe? Why not fill it with this super-sexilicious, one-of-a-kind "Sexy Vagina" costume as unveiled by Senior Women's Issues Correspondent, Kristen Schaal, on the 10/22/13 episode of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart". If you're looking for that perfect outfit that will really upset your dad, this is the one! See video »

**Purchaser is required to tweet The Daily Show a photo of themselves wearing the costume on Halloween while eating a slice of pizza.

Details:

  • One size fits most.
  • Anatomically correct, but not to scale.
  • Slips on and off. Warm. Feels like home.
  • Pairs well with giant penis costume. Or another vagina costume - we don't judge.
  • Available only in pink.
  • Ample pockets for storing keys, phone, or all the phone numbers you're gonna get for looking super-sexy!
  • May be unsuitable for homes with children or animals.
  • Inspired by Georgia O'Keefe because, you know, vaginas ;-)
  • Includes Certificate of Authenticity from The Daily Show.
  • Includes optional pizza accessory.

DISCLAIMER: This is a one-of-a-kind, custom-made costume. Delicate. Handle with care. Not intended for frequent use or prolonged wear. Also, please don't try to screw it.