Breakdowns: Life Is No Longer A Box of Chocolates For Tom Hanks

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Beejoli Shah

10/08/13 12:23PM

Filed to: Breakdowns

Tom Hanks isn't just fighting pirates, a larger battle is raging on inside his body; it's Showtime's fault that the finale of Dexter sucked; Cory Feldman's reputation has been ruined thanks to a little blog that could; Woody Allen loves lung cancer, hates lung cancer awareness.

Tom Hanks has more in common with Paula Deen than you might think. The Captain Phillips star revealed to David Letterman that he has Type 2 diabetes. He's also battling cholesterol issues, but he is what he is y'all. [Variety]
For all of you complaining about how awful the Dexter finale was, you finally have a scapegoat: Showtime. According to producer John Goldwyn, it was the network that wouldn't allow the writers to kill off Dexter at the end of the series. [Variety]
It seems that persnickety orgy rumors have hurt Cory Feldman's otherwise "sterling reputation." Hmm, wonder where those could have started? [TMZ]
Blue Jasmine will not be released in India, thanks to Woody Allen's refusal to comply with Indian law and air a non-smoking disclaimer at the start of the film. One billion people will now be unable to see Andrew Dice Clay perform his first non-rhyming role. [THR]

Breakdowns is a daily roundup of all the news that wasn't interesting enough to deserve two paragraphs.

3

SorryNotSorry Beejoli Shah 10/08/13 01:45PM

I love how this is like the 100th news outlet to report that Tom Hanks unfortunately has T2D as if his fucking life is over.

Sorry guys, but having Diabetes is not as scary as you think it is. I know the uniformed think its a death sentence but it is not. Many people live healthy and fulfilling lives with it. I really shouldn't have to say this, but, people are so fucking stupid this days with the "Diabeetus" jokes and the "Oh, you can't enjoy *insert sweet here*", bullshit that I felt the need to waste my life typing this today.

Beejoli Shah SorryNotSorry 10/08/13 04:20PM

Hmm, all I said was that he had Type 2 diabetes - nothing about a death sentence. As someone whose entire family has Type 2 diabetes (super prevalent in Indian communities) and yet each of those people who has it is significantly healthier than I am, no one is more well aware of that than I am. Please check your diabetes priv. xoxo

1

Angrier Geek Beejoli Shah 10/08/13 12:30PM

Isn't the point of being on cable that you don't have network interference? Way to keep yourself behind HBO, Showtime.

2

Bitch Pudding Beejoli Shah 10/08/13 12:40PM

As a 20-something dude that washes down Chipotle with Mountain Dew and Laffy Taffy and still keeps the cum gutters by running it all off, do people get over Diabetes I?

Once your blood sugar levels readjust or what have you, isn't it just a question of skipping 8/10 desserts?

9

WaeGook Beejoli Shah 10/08/13 12:51PM

Wilford Brimley isn't going to be around forever. Clearly Tom Hanks and his mustache are vying for his Diabeetus gig.

No, wait, sorry. That's a cat.

There, that's better.