The fearless Meryl Streep blasted Walt Disney less than 24 hours before Oscar nominations were due, Amazon Prime Instant Video has cornered the Veronica Mars market, Time Warner Cable is still the fucking worst, and live TV is headed straight into outer space.
Jerry Seinfeld promises he's working on something "big, huge, gigantic" with Larry David, Hollywood loses a legend, two washed up starlets return, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt attempts to change to world with crowdsourced television.
Jenny McCarthy, vaccination-denier and Queen of Idiot Nation, is pissed you think her son doesn't have autism. In other idiot news, Charlie Sheen might have married a porn star, and Will Smith misses Uncle Phil. All this and more in your Defamer Monday breakdowns.
Editing is at an all time low at the LA Times during the holidays; Leonardo DiCaprio does not want you to keep calm and party on; don't feel bad about stealing Netflix from your ex-girlfriend; and Ty Burrell is taking a page out of the Wilson-Vaughn playbook.
He may be the leader of the free world, but Barack Obama knows he's not the one who knocks; none of Matt Lauer's friends showed up for his birthday party; Peter Jackson probably would show up to Stephen Colbert's birthday party; and The Boss is not happy at all.
Plan on never unhearing what you're about to hear about the Vanderbilts and their love of tongue play; if geriatric oral sex isn't your thing, TLC's new sex-focused reality series makes Kim Kardashian look like Jennifer Lawrence; Hollywood has joined the NFL in disenfranchising Native Americans for a quick profit; and a quarter million people who you never knew even watched Duck Dynasty now want Phil Robertson back.
Miley's just bein Miley, Justin's just bein Justin, and Jesse Jackson's definitely just bein Jesse Jackson. Just a normal December day in Hollywood.
If all you wanted from Santa was a Sherlock mini-episode and a glimpse of Dean Pelton, today is your lucky day. Merry Christmas! And I'll take this opportunity to also wish a very Merry Christmas to those of you who watched The Sound of Music Live! even though you've ruined TV forever.
HBO has released another trailer for a criminally underrated show that you might not have had a chance to check out yet; Rich Kids who don't know how to read books are now getting their own book; Jon Hamm may not be a child-abandoning, Xenu-eschewing nutbag, but his newest trailer shows that he still ain't no Tom Cruise; Jennifer Lawrence continues her quiet campaign of world domination.
Maybe people will cheer a little less aggressively for Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways this afternoon—a man who won a vacation from the talk show host died while taking it; a very small Will Ferrell indie flick is making big bucks; Martha Stewart has got no time for Gwyneth Paltrow; and SoulCycle is giving back for the holidays, starting with Carey Mulligan.
The parade of black women through 30 Rock's Studio 8H will soon be drawing to a close as Lorne Michaels is zeroing in on who he will add to the cast; what was supposed to be a commercial for The Secret Life of Walter Mitty turned into something much more poignant; the new season of Archer is almost upon us, and thank god; and humor pieces on the economics of Middle Earth should generally try to be, well, humorous.
Winter is coming, blah, blah, blah, just get me Game of Thrones the fourth season and get it now; the Interstellar is light on story, but heavy on McConaughey at his silken-voiced finest; the Weinstein's are back baby, and you'll never work in this town again (if you're a non-sequel); and because this is Los Angeles, you're welcome for Sriracha: The Movie.
The road to absolute power is paved with hypocrisy…and casualties. Praise Frank Underwood, the House of Cards season two trailer is here to tide us over until February; SNL will have a black woman on the cast by January; Spider-Man is getting spinoff movies; and Adam Sandler will be overacting the role he was born to play: himself.
President Obama is ready to deploy the sexiest tool in his arsenal to get people on board with Obamacare; Julie Andrews teaches a master class in subtle snark; the producers of Homeland have found a new way to break your heart; and today we help you stalk your favorite campy action stars.
Despite erroneous reports to the contrary, Universal will not be scrapping the shot footage of Fast & Furious 7; if you missed Audra Macdonald leave Carrie Underwood in her dust, you'll have another chance; Inbetweeners is getting a sequel; and So You Think You Can Dance royalty got married last night.
George Clooney is the ambassador to everything; Bette Midler has been cast in the role she was born to play; Jack Reacher will be back in theatres; and the World's End gang wants to remind you that it's the most wonderful time for a beer.
With Showtime canceling Californication, wherever will we find a show about sex and California now?; Tim Meadows is not happy with Saturday Night Live, but not for the reason you think; Video Game of Thrones is here; and Steve Jobs can help you turn your book into a movie.
Family Guy is raising Brian from the dead; the Hollywood hills are alive with the sound of NBC not failing; Lena Dunham must, must, must increase her bust; DiGiorno's social media is far better than their pizza.
Paramount's relentless Ron Burgundy overkill press blitz may finally be stopped; Ireland is a great place to visit if you don't mind being killed on the 9th day of your 10 day trip; Lars Von Trier wants to help you get porn in two parts; and Amanda Bynes has been released from rehab.
Perez Hilton finally achieved his goal of being famous, in the most ironic and exploitative way possible; Netflix is giving you the best Valentine's Day gift ever; the terrifying nightmares of your youth are back to haunt you; and Cats is being turned into a movie, because, Hollywood.
