Breakdowns: A Man Died On A Vacation He Won From Ellen DeGeneres

35.13K

Beejoli Shah

12/19/13 12:31PM

Filed to: Breakdowns

Maybe people will cheer a little less aggressively for Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways this afternoon—a man who won a vacation from the talk show host died while taking it; a very small Will Ferrell indie flick is making big bucks; Martha Stewart has got no time for Gwyneth Paltrow; and SoulCycle is giving back for the holidays, starting with Carey Mulligan.

United States Marine Brandon McGraw died while enjoying a vacation to Australia that his wife Cherilyn McGraw had won on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. The couple was skydiving, and Brandon had a parachute malfunction that caused him to veer right and left before crashing to the ground. Ellen DeGeneres has yet to make a statement. [US]
Did you know Tuesday is now the weekend? Anchorman 2 released on Tuesday night, because why not, for movie studios Friday became Thursday night, Thursday night became Wednesday night, so naturally very soon we will have no weekends at all. Anyways it's done $8.1 million in just a few nights, which is very good, especially when you think of all the free marketing they got out of companies paying them for the privelige of advertising the movie. I, for one, would like the next sequel to be called Anchorman 3: Ron Burgundy, Snake Oil Salesman. [Variety]
The queen has spoken: Martha Stewart does not like Gwyneth Paltrow. She first told The Daily Mail "I haven't eaten at Gwyneth's house. She's a charming, pretty person who has a feeling for lifestyle. If she's authentic, all the better." Shade. Shade. Shade. Then while answering a TMZ paparazzo's question about who was the better lifestyle coach, she replied "Lifestyle coach? Oh, for heaven's sake, you have to have lived to be a coach." Damn. Prison has made Aunt Martha cold as ice. [The Wire]
The perks to being a famous rich person is that you no longer have to pay for things, even though you can literally afford ALL THE THINGS. So goes the tale of perma-sad twinkie Carey Mulligan, who received a free bike from SoulCycle just for showing up to a lot of classes! All those $30 classes must have bankrupted her wallet…but not as much as once dating Shia Labeouf bankrupted her soul. [THR]

Breakdowns is a daily roundup of all the news that wasn't interesting enough to deserve two paragraphs.

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

3

filmgirl Beejoli Shah 12/19/13 03:35PM

"Maybe people will cheer a little less aggressively for Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways this afternoon" Why? He was the one who decided to go fly without wings, did the vacation specifically say they would go skydiving?

I love when people give stuff away and the faces of the people who get them.

16

AliceWisdom filmgirl 12/19/13 03:56PM

filmgirl AliceWisdom 12/19/13 04:06PM

Funny, except I am allergic.

1

ToadYouOnceToadYouTwice AliceWisdom 12/19/13 04:51PM

This makes me laugh, uncontrollably, everytime - classic.

AliceWisdom ToadYouOnceToadYouTwice 12/19/13 04:53PM

Same. It never gets old.

14

LaParadeDesSaucissons Beejoli Shah 12/19/13 01:57PM

Died on an Australian vacation skydiving?

I've been leery of planning a vacation to Australia because it seems everything breathing is trying to kill you. I would not have thumbed my nose at fate and leapt from a plane.

Oh, and Martha been to prison. She's seen things go down. Cafeteria centerpieces that would give you nightmares. Gwynnie better check herself before she wrecks herself.

1

molly xo LaParadeDesSaucissons 12/19/13 02:09PM

very little will try to kill you here, cracked has just built it all up for pageviews. the 40 foot tall reptilian spider creatures can be aggressive, sure, but they won't kill you. maybe maul you up a bit. no biggie.

1

OrientalRug LaParadeDesSaucissons 12/19/13 02:15PM

I co-sign everything you said here.

2

Volante3192 molly xo 12/19/13 02:35PM

Australia flora and fauna won't -try- to kill you...but if you goad them, they don't need to do much to kill you. (Hi, taipans!)

Oh, and the few things that -aren't- poisonous will kill you from shock. (Huntsman spiders. NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO)

2

molly xo Volante3192 12/19/13 02:44PM

i grew up in the bush and was more terrified of introduced things like the wild pigs than anything this dark continent could ever produce. snakes and spiders might be venomous (and maybe even a little evil!) but they won't seek to actively fuck up your day and will even try to run away before striking. you get on the wrong side of one of those big pig bastards tho? oof.

that and the saltwater crocs, those things are just total and complete animal cunning that are at the top of the food chain for a reason and aren't convinced that humans are any more special than any other potential food source.

29

terrymct Beejoli Shah 12/19/13 12:49PM

"Lifestyle coach? Oh, for heaven's sake, you have to have lived to be a coach."

I have to agree with Martha on this one.

Jerry-Netherland terrymct 12/19/13 12:58PM

Totally team Martha on this one. Anyone who can make a shiv out of potpourri has the upper hand in life skills!

2

wickerwitch terrymct 12/19/13 01:14PM

Didn't Martha start doing her lifestyle books back when she was Gwyneth's age? Not that I'm defending Goop. Just that Martha isn't exactly down-to-earth either, jail time notwithstanding.

4

terrymct wickerwitch 12/19/13 01:31PM

Martha started out running a catering business, which led to books and tv, which led to money, which led to jail, etc.

1

kateperegrinate wickerwitch 12/19/13 01:52PM

I think it was less a comment about Paltrow's age and more of a comment about her privileged lifestyle.

12

HiMyNameIsJayAgain Beejoli Shah 12/19/13 12:47PM

Well, she promised the trip of a lifetime...

15

Gawker Deleta Est HiMyNameIsJayAgain 12/19/13 12:54PM

She said "you're going to the land down under."

And she meant it.

6

HiMyNameIsJayAgain Gawker Deleta Est 12/19/13 12:56PM

....and that's all folks.

Dread Fox Gawker Deleta Est 12/19/13 11:58PM

oh damn lol