Under a waning moon, a glowing witch—poreless, bathed in serums—sets a single silver coin beneath a glittering skull candelabra. “She’s a movie actress,” she chants, eyes closed, her intention set. “She’s a movie actress; she’s a movie actress; she’s a movie actress.”

The only insider trading Martha Stewart was doing this time around was: trading tips on how to get out of an elevator (from inside an elevator)!

Last night at the Most Powerful Women Summit in Laguna Niguel, California, Most Powerful Woman Gwyneth Paltrow clapped back at one Martha Stewart, who suggested last month that Gwyn should "be quiet." Gwyn's "psyched," honestly, to perfectly butcher Stewart and serve her up on a $300 carving board.

Maybe people will cheer a little less aggressively for Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways this afternoon—a man who won a vacation from the talk show host died while taking it; a very small Will Ferrell indie flick is making big bucks; Martha Stewart has got no time for Gwyneth Paltrow; and SoulCycle is giving back for the holidays, starting with Carey Mulligan.

Last night, amidst crafting a candy corn bird feeder out of an old nylon and a used high heel, your favorite WASP-y drunk Aunt Martha got to tweetin'.