Michael Jackson's Corpse Has Made $2 Billion
Michael Jackson died six years ago today. In the 2,191 days since he overdosed on medicine administered to him by his weird and gross personal doctor Conrad Murray, Jackson has, in death, generated an almost unimaginable amount of money for various corporations, creditors and his reptile-loving children.
According to TMZ, Jackson’s estate has grossed $2 billion since his death, thanks to the film This Is It, the Cirque Du Soleil show Michael Jackson: The Immortal World and things like album sales, merchandise and... whatever else it is people buy with Michael Jackson’s face on it.
But, as TMZ explains, not all, or really any, of that $2 billion is profit. Here is their breakdown of Jackson’s estate’s finances:
After expenses, that $2 bil gets whittled down to around $800 million — which is a very good return.
But the $800 mil gets significantly cut by taxes ... we’re told to around $450 mil.
MJ’s debts at the time of his death were around $500 million, so just on those 2 numbers the estate approaches being in the black.
But there are other ventures, like Sony, where the estate generates a lot of cash.
So, of the alleged $2 billion earned by Michael Jackson as he moonwalks across the sky during a thunderstorm, all of it was spent paying off debts from back when he was still alive.
But—believe it or not!—hope is not lost for Michael Jackson’s daughter, Paris, young son “Blanket” aka Bigi (??), and large adult son, Prince:
As for Michael’s kids, there’s a trust where millions gets distributed as they get older.
Our sources familiar with the financials tell TMZ ... if the estate were completely liquidated today, each kid would get around $100 million.
That’s a lot of money. That’s a lot of reptiles. But how many reptiles?
According to Reptiles Magazine—America’s foremost journalistic source on reptiles, I’m just going to assume—a Colombian boa constrictor can cost something like $200 in retail, or up to $5,000 for a “designer morph.” (Am I talk about a cartoon species now? I have no idea.) Meanwhile, a green anaconda, according to my homepage website backwaterreptiles.com, goes for $400. But a Colombian tegu lizard will set you back only $50.
Point is, if Prince wants to lather himself in reptiles—and it certainly seems like he does—then the only limit is the same sky upon which his father currently glides. You want 250,000 snakes and lizards? You got it, my man. You got it.
