Are you sitting down? If not, please, take a seat. Now are you sitting down? Please—I implore you to take a seat.

Comedian Will Arnett brought his new girlfriend Arielle Vanderberg to the Weinstein Company's Golden Globes party last night. The pair posed for photos before entering.

Here's the highlight of the Golden Globes so far: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler rounding off a terrific opening bit with a deeply uncomfortable and very direct Bill Cosby joke. Poehler has the better imitation.

The Golden Globes—America's favorite party of drunk, wannabe Oscar winners and really drunk cable television stars—is back for another night of awkward hobnobbing and strained niceties. And handing out trophies. Come talk blunders, victories, gags, and goofs with team Defamer.

It's true: everyone in Hollywood does cocaine and loves it. This includes Amy Poehler, as she explains in her new memoir Yes, Please.

Tiny Fey stopped by Late Night last night to talk about her summer on Long Island spent filming upcoming feature The Nest with Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, and their combined nine kids.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of a million hearts breaking all over again. Extremely funny dude Will Arnett, 18 months after separating from feminist-humor goddess Amy Poehler, has officially filed for divorce, reports People.

Amy Poehler singing campy movie musical classics is one of the best things ever, tied for first place with everything else Poehler does; Sony will be cutting back its movies in favor of focusing on television; Monty Python wants you to like their new material as much as their classics; and Google Chromecast just added HBO Go to their list of offerings, giving some serious competition to Roku and AppleTV.

Aziz Ansari releases the second preview of his upcoming standup special and it's magical; The Flight of the Conchords isn't back, but Bret McKenzie is with a new animated show; Jonah Hill's jeans should win a best at supporting an actor's paunch Oscar; and Amy Poehler has really rubbed Rob Lowe the wrong way.

Human jelly beans and BFFS Teenz and Ames will be hosting the Golden Globes again, hurrah!; Kelso is the richest man on your 62"; Michael Fassbender and little Michael Fassbender will not be campaigning for an Oscar this year; Aaron Paul has turned Bitch! into a song.

National treasure Amy Poehler was recently honored with a Lifetime Impact award at Variety's annual Power of Women luncheon—no surprise there, as there's nothing Hollywood's prom queen/student council president/AV club co-chair can't accomplish. But instead of her traditional blend of humor with gravitas, Poehler's speech about the work she's done with Worldwide Orphans was simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming—she was even moved to tears throughout.

Allison Williams literally reveals it all in the name of work; "The dog ate my homework!" and other bad excuses from Justin Timberlake; Jon Hamm will be undergoing a procedure to surgically remove that beard from his neck; Amy Poehler rules all, even when rapping about butter.

The Emmys, as expected, were boring as fuck. There were some great moments (below) which punctuated an otherwise three hour circle jerk of Hollywood's third-finest because film is greater than Broadway which is greater than television. Suck on that, smallest screen stars.