In a rare feat, Disney's animated musical Frozen won the box office over the weekend, returning to the top spot after six weeks in wide release. This was mostly due to parents who needed something, anything to do with their children after two painfully long weeks of vacation.

Miley's just bein Miley, Justin's just bein Justin, and Jesse Jackson's definitely just bein Jesse Jackson. Just a normal December day in Hollywood.

Wallow in the numbers that make the existential dread of another Monday morning seem a little less Kierkegaard-y:

Unfortunately, our powers of projection are useless for any lucrative, practical applications such as betting the horses or reading juries at celebrity rape trials.

How did Van Helsing not finish under $50 million in its first weekend and cost half of the Universal staff their jobs? USA Today has a story on the time-worn studio strategy for counteracting negative buzz and horrible reviews: throwing piles of cash at the marketing budget. Van Helsing's promotional budget is rumored to be over $30 million. The article quotes Adam Fogelson, Universal's head of marketing, about VH's opening:

Take refuge in the numbers that make us all momentarily forget about people half a world away being dressed in garbage bag Batman costumes without the benefit of Joel Schumaker's loving direction:

Ah, Movie Summer... It's the time for blockbusters, huge budget overruns, and disappointing sequels. Our predictions for the official beginning of Hollywood's pandering season:

These are the numbers that tell you exactly what America thinks about the abuse of Iraqi POWs:

This week is a tough one, with four major releases joining the fray. (We're feeling generous and including Envy as a major release.) Predictions are for recreational purposes only, and any profits reaped from the misuse of these projections should not be used to greenlight any further remakes of marginal movies from the 1970s and 1980s.

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is taking his billions and doing the natural thing for a guy with too much money: becoming a movie producer. Cuban has an executive producer credit on the upcoming Robert De Niro flick Godsend, and he was all kinds of excited to walk down the red carpet at the film's recent Hollywood premiere:

Read the numbers and go about your day pretending as if anything else really matters.

This is what is definitely going to happen at the movies this weekend. Predictions are for recreational purposes only, and should not cost any studio executives their jobs, however hilarious that might be.

These are the numbers that define our Monday morning universe:

Fearless box office predictions which can easily be altered on Monday to make us look like geniuses: