It’s not a particularly “fresh” “joke” to point out the similarities between Justin Bieber’s appearance and that of Ellen DeGeneres, but if it’s the truth, what else can you do. Lie? Do you want us to tell you a lie? We are not liars. Justin Bieber got a haircut, and he looks more like Ellen Degeneres than ever.

Take a deep breath. Take another. Lie down on the ground. Close your eyes. Picture the world falling down around you. Imagine your body covered in debris. Do you feel its weight? You are immobile and your breath is shallow. This is the end. This is the end. This is the end. Zayn got a haircut.

Put on your haircut seatbelt, my friends, this is not a false alarm: Chris Hemsworth got a haircut. And it felt like losing his mane!

On December 24th, 2014, Jared Leto posted an old photo of Jared Leto with a haircut to his Instagram, which he captioned "Haircut. #2015." Interesting. However, he has not yet gotten a haircut.

The haircut news cycle doesn't stop during the holiday season, my friend—no, no, no. It continues at the same pace. Get used to it! Today: Might Jared Leto, Mr. Pretty Bun, AKA Mr. Helmet Dick, get a haircut? A good question with an intriguing answer.