While we're pointing out the failings of major news organizations (who almost certainly can't claim the excuse that they ended their Cinco de Mayo celebration face-down in a toilet bowl, the chin string on their sombrero the only thing preventing them from drowning), we offer this:

BREAKING!!! MUST CREDIT "ACTUAL" REPORTERS FROM THE TRADES!

Ghen Maynard, the CBS/UPN reality executive behind Survivor, Big Brother The Amazing Race and America's Next Top Model, is dumping Les Moonves for Jeff Zucker and joining NBC as executive VP of primetime development, according to stories on Variety's and THR's websites.

Our pristine national pasttime has finally been penetrated by Hollywood's tainted lucre. ESPN reports (via a WSJ story) that advertising for Spider-Man 2 will be littered about major league baseball stadiums this summer. Webbed logos will appear on the bases and the batters' on-deck circles during play, and covers bearing advertising will be placed over home plate and the pitching rubber before the games start.

Here's the actual launch memo announcing "fox 21," Fox's new, low-budget production arm that's "aimed at producing edgy and inventive scripted and alternative series on lower budgets." [Ed.note—"Alternative series" sounds a little like "strike insurance." But what do we know?]

After a two-day break to consider proposals, the Writers Guild and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers are returning to negotiations, trying to avert a strike that would wipe out the world as we know it. The WGA's agreement with the studios expired at 12:01 a.m. Sunday, but talks have continued amid a media blackout.

Disney is blocking Miramax (a Disney division) from releasing bullhorn-wielding/Oscar night grandstander Michael Moore's documentary Fahrenheit 911, which criticizes President Bush's actions surrounding September 11th and links the Bush family to prominent Saudis, including the bin Ladens. Way to go, embattled Disney CEO Michael Eisner! Taking a stand to protect your President! Maybe you sympathize with him—you know, two swingin' young guys desperately trying to hang onto their jobs. Sure, it might sound like censorship, but that's all the rage now. You gotta ride what's hot, even if you have to mud wrestle with Harvey Weinstein.

Fresh off the Web press, The Hollywood Reporter's Brooks Boliek sits down for a dialogue with Motion Picture Association of America president and CEO Jack Valenti. Boliek asks him about the MPAA's seemingly Luddite-like/Hulk-smash-interweb! anti-technology stance. "Contrary to popular notion, there are many terrifically smart people in the movie business who have vision and know where the industry is going," defends Valenti.

NBC primetime development president Kevin Reilly will become president of NBC Entertainment later this month, according to Variety. He'll still report to Jeff Zucker, who is president of NBC Entertainment, News, and Cable Group. [Ed. note—Yes, these titles are all perfectly clear.] "Kevin is perfectly positioned to help NBC continue its tremendous run," Zucker said Monday. "He's worked hard on a promising new development slate for next year."

We returned from the weekend to discover a somewhat disappointing absence of writers' strike Armageddon. No writers with meticulously-written picket signs, no producers "accidentally" running their Hummers up on the sidewalk to get a "story by" credit stuck in the grill. The two sides have adjourned talks until Wednesday, following Sunday's 12:01 a.m. expiration of their contract. This gives both camps time to consider the proposals on the table, dream up synonyms for "greedy" that will look good on a sandwich board, and get those H-2s waxed.

The Writers Guild of America (WGA) says that they are willing to negotiate the past the Sunday expiry of their contract with the studios, as it doesn't appear that a deal will be done before the deadline, according to published reports. But the studios are anxious to resolve the discussions well in advance of the May 17th "upfront" meetings where networks and advertisers negotiate advertising rates for the upcoming TV season.

Paramount Pictures has taken a stroll down an aisle in its archives, spun around three times, and randomly pointed a finger, thus becoming the latest contestant in the hot game "Let's Remake...THAT One!" Billy Bob Thornton is to star in a remake of the 1976 baseball comedy The Bad News Bears.

It's a big mess over at Warner Music. Warner is suing Madonna's label, Maverick Records. Madonna's Maverick Records is suing Warner Music. Warner says that Maverick's been hemmoraging money since they bought them. Maverick claims to have turned Warner a big profit.

Variety reports that Viacom Chairman-CEO Sumner Redstone has been authorized to greenlight bigger film budgets for Viacom-owned Paramount Pictures. Said Redstone, "The creative community wasn't going to Paramount with movies that cost over $100 million. Now Paramount has hundreds of millions to make the movies they believe in."

NBC is gauging advertisers $2 million for each 30-second ad spot on the Friends finale. We can think of a lot of uses for that kind of cash, and using it to sell feminine hygiene products or light beer in between incidents of Chandler sarcasm isn't very high on that list. Of course, the good news is that is that after an hour of commercial breaks, the Friends producers will be able to afford to pay off the lawsuits of twenty irate former writers' assistants traumatized by being forced to endure speculation about the contents of Courteney Cox's uterus.

Our spies have uncovered Sony's official letter of interest for purchasing MGM:

While many expected Disney's board of directors to emerge from their retreat with the head of CEO/whipping cast member Michael Eisner on a pike (or at least with a plan for getting his head on a pike), they instead returned with a "ringing endorsement," according to the LAT. However, the board didn't make any decisions about extending Eisner's contract and did begin evaluating possible successors.

Finally, we have some writers' strike talk with a little balls to it. Variety says that writers are "play[ing] it tough," the Guild "growls" and has "bared its teeth" for the studios.

The LAT reports that Disney's (very quietly) moved its annual board retreat to its Burbank offices, skipping a trip to an Anaheim hotel to avoid a potential media feeding frenzy. The board's expected to discuss CEO-under-fire Michael Eisner's future running the company and his possible successors.

There's a new weapon in the war between broadcasters that say "fuck" and the We've-gotta-make-sure-no-one-ever-hears-the-word-fuck-or-Jesus-will-hate-us Industrial Complex. It's called The Bleepinator, and it uses voice-recognition technology to automatically filter out dirty words before they hit the airwaves—potentially saving media companies millions in fines.