The minor league State College (Pa.) Spikes have issued a public apology for whatever orgiastic former Tiger Beat-er Corey Feldman did after their baseball game Sunday night. In a solemn official statement, they thanked fans for their support during this very Corey time for the organization.

Corey Feldman's publicist proves, again, that there is indeed no rest for the weary, sending out this 600-word press release entitled "Corey Feldman Responds to Bullying," at 9:00 p.m. on Labor Day.

After covering Vice.com writer Jamie Lee Curtis Taete's trip to Corey Feldman's horrifically depressing birthday party, we were put in touch with Lila Whitney (not her real name), a woman who'd been to Feldman's house for an even more fun—and even more depressing—party: An orgy.

Goonies star Corey Feldman is attempting to transform himself into the next Hugh Hefner—complete with his own FeldMansion, a bevy of Jumbo's Clown Room wannabes calling themselves "Corey's Angels," and a pervasive, weary, existential sadness. Luckily for anthropologists of despair, Vice's Jamie Lee Curtis Taete was on hand to chronicle the scene at Feldman's recent birthday party with an article that required final approval from Feldman before being published. According to Taete: