Future author Kristin Cavallari is pregnant and sober, thank you for asking. She recently posted a photo from a “wine tasting” on Instagram—a wine tasting at which she did not taste wine.

On Monday, Kristin Cavallari announced that she is pregnant with her third child. Here are some other women who are currently gestating:

Truth and time tells all, but The Hills’ Justaan Bobbay will live forever. Kristin’s former coworker and (alleged) ex-boyfriend Justin Bobby Brescia recently emerged from wherever he’s been to do an interview with Us Weekly about his current career as a hairstylist. His salon is right in his Manhattan loft.

Sometime after becoming pregnant with her third child, Kristin Cavallari posed for a photo shoot. The resulting images were posted to the Instagram account of “DISfunksion magazine” this week, which is, to the best of our knowledge, some kind of publication.

As you know—truly, as you’ve always known—Kristin Cavallari is pregnant. She announced the news on the Kristin Cavallari app for iPhone on Monday, and it’s since been picked up by E! News, Us Weekly, and the like. But what do the people who really know Kristin think of her announcement?

In case you missed it yesterday: Kristin is pregnant.

In 2007, Kristin Cavallari described Laguna Beach, the town where she attended high school, as “so small and artsy and old.” She told GQ:

In a 2011 interview with Life & Style, future author Kristin Cavallari revealed that her favorite place to sleep—besides in her own bed—is “the Gansevoort hotel in NYC.”

Yesterday was Kristin Cavallari’s younger son Jax’s birthday—we totally forgot. He is now one year old. Here are some facts about Jax:

Earlier this week, aspiring author Kristin Cavallari assured Us Weekly that she’d be A-ok hanging out with Olivia Munn, even if some people think Olivia Munn is hotter than her. And you know what? For Kristin, life of the party, it doesn’t stop there. There are plenty of other attractive women Kristin would like to see socially.

Fledgling memoirist Kristin Cavallari posted a photo of herself with bangs on Instagram yesterday. Caption: “Having fun on set with my #secretbangs and @thescottycunha @mr_nicolasbru.”

One hundred sunsets into her memoir-writing journey, Kristin Cavallari has begun to steer the country away from fugly flats and into heels. Though her legislative gains have been meager—some might say non-existent—Kristin has attacked her overarching goal of putting her life’s work on the record with enthusiasm.

Many days of Kristin ago, the world ceased to rotate on its axis for one brief moment when someone—specifically Kristin’s husband Jay Cutler’s coworker Kyle Long—stated that actress Olivia Munn was hotter than future author Kristin Cavallari. Breaking her legendary silence on the matter, Kristin remarked to Us Weekly last night that Kyle was just joking.

Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing Around Heels drops in 402 days, shot the cover image for said book this week. She showed us one potential cover photo, but she wishes she could show us more. Kristin writes on Instagram:

In a 2011 interview with Life & Style, budding memoirist Kristin Cavallari described her personal style as “comfortable, flirty, and ever-changing.”

It has come to our attention that Kristin Cavallari’s husband Jay Cutler’s birthday was on Wednesday (Taurus). He is 32. Happy birthday!

If you perused Instagram yesterday, you might have seen the following photo posted by future author Kristin Cavallari:

Four hundred and six days until Kristin Cavallari’s debut memoir drops, and she is already shooting the cover photo. It’s of Kristin. She writes on Instagram, “Goofing off getting ready to start shooting for the cover of Balancing In Heels!!! Such an exciting day for me [confetti emoji]”

It appears that while I was on vacation last week, Kristin Cavallari decided to surreptitiously change the title of her forthcoming memoir, like I would not notice.

It appears future author Kristin Cavallari has joined Pinterest under the name “KristinCavi.”