What do you think fucking a pie can get you? A lasting career in the illustrious film industry? Not quite. The lifelong respect of your peers? I’ve got news for you, buckaroo. The eternal adoration of your family? *That thing where Larry David makes this face* Well, how does a pristine home at the foot of the Beverly Hills sound?

John Creech, the longtime suspect in the disappearance and killing of Fox film distribution exec Gavin Smith, was charged with Smith's murder Thursday. Creech is currently serving an eight-year prison sentence for a separate drug charge.

Justin Bieber has a new pool and it's shaped like a horn? Or like an exclamation point as designed by Romero Britto? Or a pen as imagined by the set designer on Prometheus? Anyway, this pool is costing Justin Bieber basically your entire year's salary (if you're lucky) per month, and not to pile on the kid here, but damn is this pool wack.

Beyoncé and Jay Z are collectively worth something like $1 billion. Maybe. Beyoncé said it herself so it must be true. The point is that they can basically buy anything in the world. Nonetheless, spending $85 million on a single pool is a serious purchase for even the richest elevator fight club. Beyoncé and Jay Z might do such a thing, but here's the real question: would you?

Some real estate listings are good, some are bad. Some tell the truth, some lie. Some don't have dicks in them, others do. None of them are perfect, except this one-photo listing for the L.A. compound Sheryl Crow just sold for $11 million.

In Los Angeles, accidentally working out near movie stars is considered especially common. Today, my friend exercised next to Shia LaBeouf, who was wearing jeans, for an hour. This is her story.

Buzzfeed's story about the history of TMZ quickly gets to the foundation of TMZ's power: It's often not what the gossip site does publish, but what it doesn't. Early on in the article, writer Anne Helen Petersen makes mention of the "TMZ Vault," the affectionate name for Harvey Levin's trove of scandalous, unpublished, and presumably leveraged material. But why should its contents stay secret?

On Tuesday, serial plagiarist and "not famous" famous actor Shia LaBeouf invited the public to join him at his latest cry for help in Los Angeles. According to the press release for his new performance entitled "#IAMSORRY," LaBeouf will be "in situ" at an art gallery for six days so he can apologize for his sins.

Veteran KTLA entertainment reporter Sam Rubin isn't well known in Los Angeles for being particularly good at his job. But mistaking Samuel L. Jackson for Laurence Fishburne during an interview this morning is a new low, even for Rubin.

Shia LaBeouf, the plagiarizing "artist" who is no longer famous, is finally ready to take the stage and share his Metamodernist Manifesto with Los Angeles. And he wants to wear a special mask while he does it.

[Wednesday night's Eagles concert marked the reopening of the L.A. Forum. The renovation cost over $100 million and included adding the world's largest vinyl record, a recreation of the Eagles' Hotel California, to the roof. The new owners hope the Forum will become the "nation's largest indoor facility designed with music as its top priority."]

Bad news for all you closet "douches" in the Southland. LA Weekly has finally revealed the neighborhoods you call home. Now everyone will know your true identity if you live in one of the following places:

Stuff Swiss people like about Los Angeles: "Hip: Cord Jefferson im Viertel Silver Lake."