Disney is blocking Miramax (a Disney division) from releasing bullhorn-wielding/Oscar night grandstander Michael Moore's documentary Fahrenheit 911, which criticizes President Bush's actions surrounding September 11th and links the Bush family to prominent Saudis, including the bin Ladens. Way to go, embattled Disney CEO Michael Eisner! Taking a stand to protect your President! Maybe you sympathize with him—you know, two swingin' young guys desperately trying to hang onto their jobs. Sure, it might sound like censorship, but that's all the rage now. You gotta ride what's hot, even if you have to mud wrestle with Harvey Weinstein.

A Full House reunion at the New York Minute premiere. We're sure that Bob Saget has never even heard of the Olsen Twins Countdown Clock, so don't even try that stuff around here.

The London Daily Telegraph has an early review of the upcoming mega-budget, mega-blockbuster, Troy. According to critic John Hisock, it's so sweeping that it "comes close to justifying the enormous amount of money spent on it." Just how much money Warner Brothers poured into it is, as usual, up for debate—the studio claims $175 million, but others guess at a quarter of a billion dollars. (Apparently, thousands of sweaty Greeks in metal skirts don't come cheap. Who knew?)

Fresh off the Web press, The Hollywood Reporter's Brooks Boliek sits down for a dialogue with Motion Picture Association of America president and CEO Jack Valenti. Boliek asks him about the MPAA's seemingly Luddite-like/Hulk-smash-interweb! anti-technology stance. "Contrary to popular notion, there are many terrifically smart people in the movie business who have vision and know where the industry is going," defends Valenti.

BoingBoing points us to this article from MIT's The Tech, in which 82-year-old former Motion Picture Association of America head/digital rights management Kool-Aid drinker Jack Valenti is made to look borderline, um, senile. Not Charlton Heston at the end of Bowling for Columbine senile, but still.

-Teeny-tiny Dreamworks mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg found inspiration for his computer-animated NBC show, Father of the Pride, from hanging out at Siegfried and Roy shows. Modern CGI should be able to render a tiger attack in chilling detail.
-Heidi Fleiss is suing Tom Sizemore for domestic violence. Who would think that a former whoremonger could get entangled in a bad relationship?
-Keanu Reeves is being honored at the World Stunt Awards. Laurels from the American Rhetorical Society will be a little harder to come by.
-Multiple child molestation indictments can't slow the Michael Jackson money-making machine. Just imagine what a conviction will do for the Neverland Ranch's llama fund!

Actor John C. Reilly (Magnolia, pretty much everything filmed in the last 10 years), walked off the Swedish set of director Lars von Trier's Manderlay to protest the on-screen killing of a donkey. Said a spokeswoman, "We tried very hard to use a puppet instead of a real donkey because we really needed to show a donkey being killed for the film, but when that didn t work we approached a vet and asked him to provide us with an animal that was due to be slaughtered anyway."

We've already predicted that Envy is not exactly going to set the weekend on fire; all indications are that it's more likely to be a brown paper bag full of dog shit aflame on Dreamworks's doorstep. Sure, giving Jack Black a Lollipop Guild hairdo and putting him in the center of a movie about feces sounds like box office gold on paper. Let's just be thankful they didn't give him a talking dog.

Richard Roeper, fifty percent of "Ebert and Roeper" (and recipient of one-hundred percent of Roger Ebert's incredulous, "The fuck you say?" stares) puts his staggering powers of prognostication and discernment on display in discussing this summer's upcoming blockbusters:

What's an aging actor who was once one of the world's biggest draws to do to try and kickstart his career? No, John Travolta's not falling asleep next to Quentin Tarantino's Pussy Wagon, clutching an FTD "Cast Me!" bouquet in his meaty paws. Today is Burt Reynold's turn. Reynolds has just signed on to star opposite Adam Sandler in a remake of The Longest Yard. And, indeed, the original The Longest Yard did star a much younger Burt Reynolds. Some might call this wink-wink casting, a knowing nod to cut a little of the "they're remaking that?" criticism. Some might call this money trouble. We'll just reserve judgment and hope that when the studios come calling with the Stroker Ace redo, Burt will have an ex-wife or beach house that needs paying off.

Variety reports that Viacom Chairman-CEO Sumner Redstone has been authorized to greenlight bigger film budgets for Viacom-owned Paramount Pictures. Said Redstone, "The creative community wasn't going to Paramount with movies that cost over $100 million. Now Paramount has hundreds of millions to make the movies they believe in."

Fuck that dead Atkins guy. Apparently, Renee Zellweger is helplessly addicted to the skinny-minnie to fatty-boom-batty yo-yo diet. She's reportedly open to yet another orgy of ding-dongs to get up to Bridget Jones fighting weight for a third time, now that Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason is in the can. Really, how many times are we supposed to pay to see her puff up?

The Cell writer Mark Protosevich has been hired to update 1972's boat disaster movie The Poseidon Adventure. Further cementing the painfully-obvious observation that Hollywood is completely out of ideas, Wolfgang Petersen is producing it (and we assume will wind up in the director's chair). Petersen, if you recall, is the director of The Perfect Storm, a boat movie, and Das Boot (German for "boat movie"). We'd further mine his IMDb profile for other nautical fare, but our German-translation intern is out scoring us some coke.

Mel Gibson is throwing some of his Passion of the Christ cash into developing a movie about Boudica, a female warrior who led Britain against the Roman Empire and was named Britain's first queen after her death, according to Variety. There are at least three other Boudica films in development at different studios.

Blogger Paul Davidson has "uncovered" the Movie Viewer Construction kit, which assists in the creation of pullquote-ready review blurbs. Just choose phrases from each of the columns and you're ready to be immortalized on a full-page ad for The Alamo. Example: "You'd better believe...[The Alamo was] ...the most endearing, happy-go-lucky, colorful film of......the decade, which is ten years, and that's saying a lot because 10 years holds a lot of movies!!"

How do you squeeze every last bit of money out of a failed superhero movie? You subtract the Affleck and spin off the movie's real marketable star and make an entirely new superhero movie. Jennifer Garner will again play her assassin character in Elektra, though this time Affleck's Daredevil will be replaced by ER's Goran Visnjic as the love interest. Watch out, next thing we know, Goran's (go ahead, try and make us type "Visnjic" again) going to start dating crossover stars with big asses and pretending to write a movie with Matt Damon.

Variety's Peter Bart is all in a tizzy over the NYT's treatment of Mel Gibson and The Passion of the Christ, pointing out that the paper's dire predictions about Gibson's Hollywood blackballing haven't really panned out. And, oh yeah, the Jesus-beating flick is making a little money, too.

Kill Bill Vol. 2's Budd, Michael Madsen, tells About.com that Quentin Tarantino looks as if he's finally going to go ahead with his Pulp Fiction/Reservoir Dogs prequel The Vega Brothers. Tarantino's been kicking around the idea that features the characters Vic "Mr. Blonde" Vega (Madsen) and Vincent Vega, John Travolta's Pulp hitman.

The website of a fake company claiming the successful cloning of dead children, created to promote the upcoming Robert DeNiro film Godsend, has apparently "fooled" anti-cloning activists into creating a petition to stop them.

Don't expect to see the long-promised fourth Indiana Jones installment any time soon. Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas are all tied up in projects that will likely delay the film's release until 2006. (Paramount originally slated it for the Fourth of July holiday next year.)