Shock-jock under fire/Porky's producer Howard Stern revealed that he has a secret blog on his radio show this morning. Stern said he writes as "another character" and that only "about 4 people are in on the joke." OK, he's almost certainly not Rance, who repeatedly claims to be an actor and not a fat guy eating Twinkies in his basement, laughing at a credulous, gossip-starved public.
Stereogum's got some pics of Britney Spears having a beach day in Santa Monica with dancer Kevin Federline. Taking a look at Brit's thighs, it's hard to know if the love affair is between the pop star and the dancer or the pop star and the orange cheese residue on her fingers. Click here to get a better look.
Supposedly A-list actor/secret blogger Rance sees a Kabbalah-like outbreak of Asian Mysticism in Hollywood. He offers this warning to those who might find themselves in the thrall of a horny producer with rudimentary cooking skills:
This from Variety: "Paramount Pictures has tapped Scarlett Johansson for its Tom Cruise franchise sequel Mission: Impossible 3.
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If the lede begins with "former Baywatch star," the odds are pretty good that it's going to end with "sex tape." Gena Lee Nolin, onetime Baywatch lifeguard and titular jungle monarch from Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, is starring in a sex tape that's about to hit the Internet. Page Six (which manages to misspell "Gena") says the tape, featuring Nolin and her ex-husband, is being shopped around to porn sites for $1 million. Nolin's lawyer claims that the ex's ex-wife is probably responsible for the hott jungle action being leaked to the public.
LA.com's spies have caught Lost in Translation darling Scarlett Johansson sucking a little ascendant starlet face with a decidedly unascendant Jared Leto. When was the last we heard from him? With those ridiculous white-boy dreads in Panic Room?
A company owned by former Miami Vice/Nash Bridges icon Don Johnson has filed for bankruptcy. Johnson's lawyers claim the filing is to protect the ranch property controlled by his company while they obtain financing to pay off creditors.
Randy Fowler, Kevin Spacey's brother, plans to shop a tell-all book exposing the actor's secrets to American publishers. Fowler, who toils as a session drummer and Rod Stewart impersonator, is unabashed about his intentions for writing the book.
This weekend, if you were a celebrity who'd split from a single egg in your mother's womb, you were probably talking to a lawyer. 7th Heaven star (and twin) Jeremy London was taken into custody and released on bail after rubbernecking motorists saw him arguing with his girlfriend on the 5 freeway. Brother Jason, meanwhile, can't get arrested.
Wherein we attempt to translate the humpy gabber's gossipspeak into Standard American English:
If you're anything like us, you spend a good portion of your day staring at the stereo, wishing that there were more bands featuring celebrities. Your CDs —Keanu's Dogstar and Becky, Russell Crowe's Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts, the Bacon Brothers—all have had more lasers run across them than Catherine Zeta-Jones' face.
Jeff Goldblum's caught in the act with Tim Burton ex/model Lisa Marie (perhaps best known as the sexy killer alien in Mars Attacks!). Click the link below to see a lot more of Goldblum than you're probably ever wanted to see, and just the right amount of Lisa Marie. Water's pretty cold, eh, Jeff?
Page Six says that The O.C.'s sandwich-deficient star Mischa Barton has been banned from Fred Segal for calling the store "hell" and dissing the clothes as "high-end generic" and "not made with any love."
Carrie-Anne Moss will star in Mission: Impossible 3 alongside Tom Cruise. The latest, bound-to-be-overplotted installment of the Paramount Pictures franchise will start shooting this summer for a 2005 release.
