We at Defamer are committed to offering the head-hunting services that our readers so desperately crave. Earlier, we tried to hook up the kid of a fellow Internet entertainment writer with some extra summer cash. Now we offer something to our more highly-paid readership. From a helpful e-mailer:

A spy tells us about Maria Shriver's recent interview with magician/white tiger snack Roy Horn, which took place at Siegfried and Roy's Las Vegas compound. (Spy: "How do you interview a quasi-vegetable? Luckily, Maria has lots of experience dealing with someone who doesn't speak in complete sentences.") Scott Sassa, former head of NBC West Coast programming, was caught dishing about the ridiculous security in place to protect leaks from getting out ahead of the interview's Fall airing to promote NBC's animated tiger show, Father of the Pride.

The Smoking Gun has the mugshot of Real World Miami castmate Dan Renzi, who was arrested for exercising his right to stroke his penis in a Kansas City porno theater on Cinco de Mayo. [Ed. note—You'd think he'd be safe after flying all the way to Kansas City just to jerk off.] While we usually never pass up the opportunity to make the easy joke, Defamer will not make any facile Pee Wee Herman references, even though both men were arrested for stroking their penises in theaters showing pornography.

An attendee of last night's Willie Nelson and Friends concert at the Wiltern sends us a report from the show. We were shocked [Ed.note—Shocked!] to hear insinuations that some of the storied musicians might have been performing while under the influence of one or more illegal substances. And we're somewhat heartened to find out that the original Batman is still alive and a recreational stage-diver.

To make a futile attempt at quenching the world's thirst for Friends spoilers, here is yet another installment. A tipster just sent this one, supposedly straight from a PA on the set...so maybe he or she might have missed something while fetching an In N Out burger for David Arquette. It seems to corroborate some of the Popbitch tips.

Popbitch presents a couple of spoilers that our spy didn't have. Just because we don't want to potentially ruin the fun of the 50 million viewers who will tune in to make peace with the end of the one thing that's given Gen X'ers lives some meaning, they're listed after the jump. (The plot points we didn't already reveal are in bold.)

This might be the strangest thing we come across all day. Page Six reports that a "mysterious" group of European backers have approached Mel Gibson about a possible takeover of Disney, impressed at how Gibson turned two hours of a billion Christians' personal savior getting his ass kicked into huge financial gains.

Today, pseudonymous blogger/supposedly A-list actor Rance cheekily writes a letter in the guise of his parents, who apologize for their boy running around the Internet and pretending to be someone famous.

The sickies over at Fleshbot have pointed out that pictures from the Gena Lee Nolin sex tape have finally hit the internet. This doesn't have nearly the same world-shaking implications of the Paris Hilton tape (anorexic socialites don't snap in half during sex? Damn!), but there's something to be said for seeing naked celebrities, even if they're so far off the radar that it takes "leaked" doggystyling video to get people to say "Oh yeah, she used to be on Baywatch or something, right?"

We're hearing that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have tied the highly age-inappropriate knot in a private Kabbalah ceremony in Florida. In Touch Weekly will run the cover story this week. Developing, as those other, filthy gossip rags say...

A spy reports from the filming of the first half-hour of the upcoming, hour-long Friends series finale. Beware, and continue only if you want some of the details of the final episode ruined for you. We love spoilers, so we read them, and were really surprised that Chandler was deported to Mexico and Phoebe was fatally mauled by ferrets. Trust us, it all makes sense in context. Read on...

Sightings are sent in by readers. Here's the way this works: you send them to tips@defamer.com, and we post them.

This is Tina Fey's 1992 UVA senior class photo. Yeah, we miss the glasses, too.

Gossiplist has a potential Bachelor spoiler (so read only at your own peril). It seems that possibly-cut Giants third-string quarterback and rose-bearer Jesse Palmer might be taking his snaps from contestant Tara, as a local paper in her Oklahoma hometown has spotted him there (though we suppose he could have been there for an on-camera "Meet the Parents"). And Tara likes the football types; she got engaged to one that played for the University of Oklahoma during their 2001 Rose Bowl appearance. Perhaps he can hold down a roster spot in the NFL better than Palmer?

The Blueprint was among the seemingly ten million revelers that were shoveled into the Indio, CA desert location of the Coachella festival. And, unlike yours truly, she didn't lose her camera phone ability when full of festival beer and assorted other substances. She grabbed a couple of cam-phone snaps of The O.C.'s Adam Brody ("insanely stoned," pictured at left from The Blueprint) and Mischa Barton ("literally dry-humped by her billionaire Davis boyfriend on the lawn.")

As if this picture isn't disturbing enough, there's a creepy Diane Keaton resemblance sure to haunt our Friday night dreams.

Is the Matrix trilogy writer-director Larry Wachowski finally ready to chop off his Neo and unleash his inner Trinity? There's been longtime speculation in Hollywood that Larry (not to be confused with brother and partner Andy, who apparently was born into a correctly-sexed body), has been planning a sex-change operation to become "Linda." But in the NY Daily News, Rush & Molloy relate the Chicago Sun Times' assertion that "longtime friends" say he's ready for the big switch. Maybe if he'd made up his mind a little faster, the last two Matrix movies wouldn't have been so mind-bendingly confusing.

• Olsen Twins Get Star on the Walk of Fame [AP via Yahoo!]

Wherein we attempt to translate the humpy gabber's gossipspeak into Standard American English.

Whoops! Look like Mischa Barton forgot that she'd slagged Fred Segal's clothes in the national press. The O.C. star (you know, the hot one that can't act. No, the other hot one that can't act) tried to infiltrate the Melrose Ave store like nothing happened and had her skinny little butt tossed out on the pavement like a bag full of wire hangers. It's understandable that she couldn't remember what she'd said; we lose our short-term memory when we're hungry, too.