Last we heard from Leonardo DiCaprio, actor and founding member of the Pussy Posse, he was investing in a mattress company for god knows what reason (sex), and riding CitiBikes around Manhattan with his new model paramour, Kelly Rohrbach, which would seem to suggest that Leo has been having an uncharacteristically lowkey summer. Hm.

In a statement released via E! News this morning, spray-tanned baton Giuliana Rancic announced she’s leaving her longtime post as E! News anchor. She will, however, stay on as a red carpet interviewer and as co-host of Fashion Police, the doomed show on which she made a racist remark earlier this year. Wait what?

Sometimes tragedies bring people closer together. Other times, tragedies (like the film Hot Pursuit) tear people apart. This, sadly, is the fate of Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara, former co-worker friends who reportedly hate each other now.

On Tuesday, TMZ published security footage that appeared to show human-kitten hybrid Ariana Grande licking donuts that weren’t hers and saying “I hate America.”

What do you think fucking a pie can get you? A lasting career in the illustrious film industry? Not quite. The lifelong respect of your peers? I’ve got news for you, buckaroo. The eternal adoration of your family? *That thing where Larry David makes this face* Well, how does a pristine home at the foot of the Beverly Hills sound?

Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing in Heels (f.k.a Balancing on Heels) is due out in 346 days, is even more stylish than we thought—according to the “we” who work at People.com. In a recent blog post titled, “9 Reasons Kristin Cavallari Is Even More Stylish Than We Thought,” the magazine website lays out its dubious case.

Three Men and a Baby star Tom Selleck has been stealing thousands of gallons of water for years and hauling it to his 60-acre California ranch, according to a lawsuit filed Monday by a Ventura County water district.

It’s Wednesday, which means America’s beloved gossip rags have released their new issues for the week. Us Weekly’s cover shouts: “GAMBLING, BOOZE, & CHEATING: JEN’S SECRET HELL” alongside an artfully tattered photo of soon-to-be divorced actors Jen Garner and Ben Affleck. People, the mag that spent the last month groveling at the Afflecks’ feet to get the coveted divorce exclusive, promises something different on its cover: The real story.

Throughout Boulevard, Robin Williams looks stiff, like he’s holding a suitcase in each arm at all times. It’s his way of physically conveying his character’s emotional baggage—Williams plays Nolan, who at 60 can no longer suppress his gay feelings and attempts a relationship with a prostitute named Leo (Roberto Aguire). But, in light of Williams’s suicide last August, it makes you wonder what Williams himself was carrying with him while filming what turned out to be his last onscreen performance (his voice will appear in next year’s sci-fi comedy Absolutely Anything).

According to the Orlando Sentinel, a Walt Disney World spokesperson confirmed on Tuesday that a bronze bust of Bill Cosby would be removed from the resort’s Hollywood Studios theme park after closing today.

Yesterday, famed butt-haver Justin Bieber posted his Great White Ass on Instagram and today, noted nipple-freer Chrissy Teigen responded with a game theory-approved tit-for-tat strategy, uploading a picture of husband John Legend’s backside.

Bad news for Kylie Jenner: not only are you dating Tyga, a widely mocked rapper who had to release his recent album for free because nobody wanted to hear it, but your widely mocked rapper boyfriend is sending dick pics to people who are not you—including a transgender actress named Mia Isabella, who has gone ahead and provided the receipts.

Kristin Cavallari, proprietor of the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android, has published several posts on the app under her byline over the last year—posts with words and almost-words like “anyways,” “techy,” “science lab,” and “bakini.”

Celebrity Magazine is the celebrity magazine of choice for Scientologists everywhere. A recent issue features a lengthy interview with longtime believer Laura Prepon, who talks unguardedly about the religion/cult in a manner that is usually shrouded from outsiders.

From former Gawker writer Maureen O’Connor, here is a perfect interview with Rob Shuter, the celebrity PR guy who handled Ben Affleck’s last breakup (with the other Jen). Shuter spills the tea about all his former clients, including Jessica Simpson, who he says dated the biggest publicity whore of all: John Mayer.

Good news for fans of past-their-prime sitcoms: Harry Shearer will return to The Simpsons next season. Shearer, who voiced Mr. Burns, Flanders, Skinner, and others, announced on Twitter in May that he was leaving the show over a contract dispute that appears to have been resolved.

In the summer of 1998, Mark Christopher’s 54 landed in theaters with a dull thud. Despite a cast of then-hot stars like Neve Campbell, Mike Myers, and Ryan Phillippe, and the fact that it arrived at a time of peak ’70s nostalgia (thanks in part to specials like VH1’s Behind the Music), the film grossed a paltry $6.6 million during its opening weekend and was panned by critics. All of which predicted that 54 would fade into oblivion.

Ariana Grande, a mewling kitten wearing sexy bloomers, claimed in 2013 that she was attacked by demons from hell. This weekend, however, she revealed herself to be the true demon from hell by sneakily licking donuts at a donut shop and then not buying them. Also: she “hates America.” Also: she’s dating a backup dancer.

After 10 years and one day of marriage, actors Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced last week that they’ve decided to divorce. We knew this was coming, but still, we ask: why? What happened in between falling in love on the set of Daredevil (2004) and moving out of a shared bedroom in their Los Angeles home and into different, private areas of that same home?