In Norse mythology, the goddess Snotra is “high and courteous.” In San Diego, the actress January Jones is rude. According to a Page Six “spy,” Ms. Jones made it known that she was not having a good time at a Comic-Con party for Ryan Reynolds’ terrible new movie Self/less this weekend.

Kristen Stewart recently made a big change in her life. Anyone know what that was?

Ariana Grande, toony tiny pop singer who could basically wear a cupcake wrapper as a long skirt, was recently caught on video licking donuts that she had not purchased. Sadly, despite her flouting of American donut law and basic hygiene, she will not face criminal mischief charges, TMZ reports. That means Ariana Grande’s sandpapery forked demon-tongue could be all over your donuts right now.

Kristin Cavallari recently got fake bangs for an infomercial—a fact she would like the public to promptly forget. They look like this:

Few rappers have made their wealth more central to their fame than 50 Cent, which makes it rather uncomfortable for him that he filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in a Connecticut court today. His declaration comes just days after the rapper was ordered to pay $5 million to Rick Ross’ ex-girlfriend for distributing a sex tape involving her in 2009.

Some people need money; Some people have money; Some people use a $4500 Lanvin coat as a napkin for their baby at the movies—a Norman Rockwell tableau.

Lil Wayne and his adopted father/scumbag label boss, Bryan “Birdman” Williams, have been fighting in court for six months over millions of dollars and the release of Wayne’s Tha Carter V. Now they’re apparently fighting in the club, too. Birdman, or someone with him in the VIP section at Miami’s notorious Club LIV, threw a drink on Weezy Sunday night.

Below is a 2013 Getty photo of Kristin Cavallari applying lip gloss at the ULTA Beauty “Kiss Cart,” which somehow benefitted the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

On Thursday evening, Kristin Cavallari announced via Instagram that her forthcoming baby will be a girl. “Our new addition!” Kristin exclaimed in the caption of photo of her holding little pink sneakers. “The boys are so excited to have a little sister on the way!!!”

Rude Broadway audiences are starting to become a thing now, so it may not come as a surprise that Madonna recently appropriated it at a preview for the new Broadway show, Hamilton.

Spray-tanned American socialite Nicholai “Nicky” Hilton wed British banking scion James Rothschild at the Kensington Palace Orangery today in a couture lace Valentino gown that reportedly cost over $77,000 to purchase. A car ran over it.

Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book Balancing in Heels is scheduled to to enter this world in 344 days, is also pregnant with a baby who will get here much faster. Kristin announced via Instagram last night that the child will be girl.

During the first night of the North American leg of One Direction’s On the Road Again tour in San Diego, California, Harry Styles took a big, silly, backwards tumble to the ground. This was also America’s first Zayn-free One Direction concert. Coincidence?

Pinecone covered in glitter for a forced arts & crafts project and longtime E! News anchor Giuliana Rancic announced yesterday that she would be leaving her highly-visible job to spend more time with her line of wines. Today, Page Six reports the real reason Rancic’s on her way out: Maria fucking Menounos.

So you want to talk while you’re at the movies. Well OK then, you’re allowed.

Thursday night, cat-baby Ariana Grande more comprehensively expressed remorse over her alleged donut-licking and America-hating, following up yesterday’s apology with a four-minute video titled “sorry babes.”

In an unexpected twist of events, Drake, who has been taking in the sights at Wimbledon all week, was majorly friendzoned by Serena Williams Thursday. Despite the pair’s rumored 2012 fling, Williams, who is on course to win yet another Grand Slam title, would much rather be friends with the Toronto rapper.

A California water district has reached a tentative settlement with Magnum P.I. star and accused water thief Tom Selleck, NBC News reports. Officials say the terms of the agreement are confidential until the settlement is finalized.

Sixty-four days of Kristin ago, incipient author Kristin Cavallari teased yet another one of her varied, seemingly random projects: Secret Bangs™. “Having fun on set with my #secretbangs,” she wrote in the caption of an Instagram photo of her wearing fake bangs. She’s since deleted the photo—for some reason—but the bangs...the bangs live on.

Major rewrites, a scrapped pilot, and a lead actress presumably fired: What on earth is going on on the set of Cameron Crowe’s new show, Roadies? According to Deadline, nothing good.