Most of America knows Tim Allen best as the genial, lovable sitcom dad from Home Improvement and his current red-state reassurance vehicle Last Man Standing. But if you were looking for coke in Kalamazoo, Michigan, in the mid-70s, you might have known Tim Allen as your drug dealer. Enough people knew him as such that in 1978 an undercover officer set up a sting operation that might have landed Allen in jail for life had he not snitched on nearly two dozen other dealers.

After not performing at the Super Bowl last weekend, Taylor Swift announced on Tumblr that she will not be performing at the Grammy Awards this weekend. To be clear: there were no public performances from Taylor Swift last weekend, and there will be no public performances from her this weekend. She will, however, engage in a "rage fest."

With speculation at a fever pitch following a series of tabloid stories and photos, BuzzFeed reports that Bruce Jenner intends to come out as transgender in a sit-down with ABC News' Diane Sawyer. In that planned interview, Jenner will also reportedly reveal the details of a new E! docuseries centered around his transition to a woman.

The ongoing debate over whether or not children should be vaccinated has increased in volume and urgency this winter, in the wake of a nationwide measles outbreak that has now topped 100 cases. While we must wait 492 more days to read former Laguna Beach star Kristin Cavallari's thoughts on the matter in her debut book, Balancing on Heels, we can look at what she's said on the topic in the past to guide our discussion today.

Bobbi Kristina Brown, the daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown who has been in a medically induced coma since being found unresponsive in a bathtub on Saturday, is "fighting for her life," her family said today in a newly released statement.

This will not sweeten the almond milk in Taylor Swift's Monday morning latte, but we must report that Swift's ex-boyfriend John Mayer went to the Super Bowl to support Swift's sworn enemy, halftime show performer Katy Perry last night. Missy Elliott (personal relationship with Swift unknown) posed for a photo with the on-again couple, who were dressed up like a normal person and a football, at an after party.

This is the first photo from the set of Aaron Sorkin's Steve Jobs biopic, which finally started filming in January after being bounced from Sony to Universal—the reasons are complicated, but one of them involved a disagreement over which big-name actor should play the Apple founder. As you can see, the answer still hasn't been revealed.

MAC Cosmetics VIVA GLAM Rihanna™ model Rihanna and environmental activist and founding member of the Pussy Posse, Leonardo DiCaprio, have reportedly been hooking up. That doesn't mean Rihanna is just going to settle for Leonardo DiCaprio's chubby baby bod, however.

OT-VII Tom Cruise is small and lean. But what if Tom Cruise were small and so thick that it's crazy? Tom Cruise reportedly intends to answer that question in preparation for an upcoming role.

Cool kids on the debate team senior year Jennifer Lawrence, Adele, and Harry Styles caused a ruckus again on Saturday night, just one week after they terrorized patrons at Craig's restaurant in Los Angeles by throwing olives at them. The famous trio got together this time for Harry's 21st birthday at the Club.

It's Sunday, and there are 493 days until Kristin Cavallari's book drops, and maybe today you are just taking some time to yourself to reflect on the week past. Maybe you're even repenting for your sins. Kristin's not. In a recent interview posted to her eponymous app, she proclaimed, "I don't really have any regrets or huge mistakes."

There are still 494 days until Kristin Cavallari's first book, Balancing on Heels, drops. So what will you read today, on a boring Saturday so far in the distant past, instead? Kristin has a recommendation. When asked in an interview with DWNLD, an app-making company, what her favorite app is, Kristin responded: "I guess I have to say mine!"

The Hills star Heidi Montag's dad, Bill Montag, was arrested and charged with child sex abuse and incest in Aspen, Colorado last night. According to TMZ and local outlet KUSA, Bill is accused of abusing a girl over 50 times beginning in 1993 when she was 13 years old. The abuse allegedly continued until she was 17.

Emotional minefield Justin Bieber, currently attempting to rebrand himself as something other than a stubborn piss-stain, stopped his car to acknowledge an elderly fan (Larry King) in L.A. this morning, earning himself 3 karma points and 12 hours of Lindsay Lohan community service. A pleasant time was had by all, except the girl who fell out of her mom's car while chasing Bieber.

Does a celebrity who complains as much as Iggy Azalea even enjoy being famous? Today's shit-fit tantrum comes after Steve Madden uploaded photos she doesn't like from an Iggy-branded shoe line. "I'm in shock," sputtered the rapper from the "Clueless" tribute music video. "Tainted with these God awful images..."

On the 495th day before Kristin Cavallari's debut lifestyle book Balancing on Heels drops, she's discovering what her audience loves about her. Explaining to the hosts of Good Morning America why people appreciated it when she posted her husband Jay Cutler's harried texts on Instagram, Kristin said, "It's refreshing to see that Jay and I are just like everybody else."

He's best known for dabbling in the macabre, but when I talked to the 67-year-old director/musician John Carpenter by phone earlier this week, he told me he was "just delighted." We were discussing his new (and first) album John Carpenter's Lost Themes and the glowing reception it has received thus far. Carpenter is best known for directing horror movies like Halloween and 1982's The Thing, as well as gritty action fare like Escape from New York, but all the while he's been composing music (in fact, he has scored most of this movies, including all of the aforementioned).

Chet Haze, who is currently on vacation in New York City but unwilling to meet up with me, was dining at a restaurant with mama Rita Wilson and papa Tom Hanks on Thursday evening, when yet another strained conversation about his future was derailed by the rap world: Diddy reportedly sent a round of tequila shots to the whole fam. Yung Hanx has been sober for over three months.

In a recent interview in Time Out New York, Lena Dunham told her Girls co-producer Jenni Konner that she’d been moved to speak out against Woody Allen by the moral courage of her longtime mentor Judd Apatow. According to Dunham, the powerful Hollywood director was “one of the first people ever to speak out against Woody Allen.” But, uh—did he?