Reality TV participant and sad dad of eight Jon Gosselin recently got evicted from his rural Pennsylvania home, according to Us Weekly. To make matters worse, a source tells the mag that he and his girlfriend broke up. Guess VH1's Couples Therapy didn't work.

Seventeen-year-old Kylie Jenner, the youngest reality star in the Kardashian clan, has been rumored to be dating a much older rapper, Tyga, for weeks now. But last night, Tyga's ex posted pics on Instagram suggesting that she's back together with him. Are Tyga and Kylie just friends? Or is that what Kris Jenner wants you to think?

To the surprise of absolutely no one in the entire goddamn world, Dane Cook, your brother's favorite comedian in 2004, confessed to Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live last night that he has indeed slept with his groupies.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, director Ridley Scott, along with producer Lynda Obst, is developing an Ebola outbreak limited series for Fox TV Studios based on Richard Preston's best-selling high school reading assignment The Hot Zone. Preston will apparently have a new story in this week's New Yorker about the virus' spread from West Africa to the U.S.

Handsome actor Channing Tatum has been blessed with many things: cartoon-like abs, dancing ability, a Magic Mike sequel. But according to Tatum himself, one thing our Lord above did not grant him was brains. "I have never considered myself a very smart person," he tells T magazine this week.

There are many ways to lead a happy and fulfilling life that allows you to do all the things you could ever dream about. I won't go into all of the ways because they are basically endless, but here is just one: get Halle Berry to pay you $16,000 a month.

Glenn Close, legendary actress whose roles needn't be listed for reference (Damages), spoke in a new issue of The Hollywood Reporter about her childhood spent in what the magazine calls a "violently anti-intellectual and possibly homophobic" cult. Ah!

Cara Delevingne—British model, Knicks fan, wearer of eyebrows—kissed a "random" fan yesterday. It could have been you! If you were a talented artist and a dedicated stalker, anyway.

Your mean neighbor, Chelsea Handler, regaled the story of pale oaf Jason Biggs peeing on her face as she clung to boat in the heavy tide of the ocean. "I was trapped. I was in a urinary Bermuda Triangle," she said on Conan last night.

Put down your cereal spoon and tell mom to puh-leeze get out of your room—you need a minute, plus this is America and you're supposed to have some privacy—because the new Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 teaser has arrived! And District 12 is destroyed, oh no!

Could it be? On Friday night, it seems as though Leonardo DiCaprio's Pussy Posse put on their Pussy robes, gathered around their Pussy fire, and inducted a new Pussy member: the newly divorced Robin Thicke.

The guy who played asshole Mr. Big for six seasons on Sex and the City is apparently an asshole in real life. For reasons his publicist is still trying to understand, actor Chris Noth told an Australian news site yesterday that Carrie Bradshaw was "such a whore" on the show.

Clowns of America International, the nation's largest clown club, spoke to The Hollywood Reporter about American Horror Story: Freak Show's clown problem. And, boy, is it ever a problem. (For professional clowns.)

Jennifer Garner, who used to wear wigs on Alias, has presumably been sitting on the story of her life as an avid streaker for years now, based on the enthusiasm and faux aw-shucks she brought to Conan last night. I'm promoting two movies, she probably said to herself in her dressing room mirror. I can finally tell this story...

Sunglasses model Bono has admitted that, yes, dropping U2's new album Songs of Innocence on everyone's iPhones without their permission was probably not a very good idea. He's sorry about it.

Overpowered TV ratings tabulator Nielsen admitted to fucking up months and months of ratings last week and told broadcast networks that they would re-crunch the numbers. In those updated numbers, CNN reliable source Brian Stelter reports, ABC World New Tonight's hard-fought ratings victory over NBC Nightly News and Brian Williams' jawline wasn't a win after all.

Angelina Jolie's 50-year-old husband, Brad Pitt, loves guns. He told British radio and television weekly Radio Times that his father "instilled" in him "a profound and deep respect for the weapon" (guns). And apparently at a young age: He bragged to the magazine that he had a shotgun by the time he turned six and was firing handguns by age eight.

The music producer Dr. Luke—pictured above second from right—has been the engine behind inescapable hits from artists like Katy Perry, Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus, but he never worked more closely with an artist than he did with pop star Kesha, eight of whose nine singles he wrote and co-produced. But rather than a close artistic partnership, Kesha alleges in a new lawsuit, their relationship was dangerous and predatory.

It's true: everyone in Hollywood does cocaine and loves it. This includes Amy Poehler, as she explains in her new memoir Yes, Please.

Professional public spectacle Shia LaBeouf was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, and pursuant to the celebrity debacle news cycle, he recounted his June night of drunken misbehavior like it was a hilarious anecdote that anyone could relate to. His story of that night involves: The World Cup, drinking, chasing down a homeless marine, more drinking, being invited to see Cabaret, even more drinking, groping a man's ass, more drinks, and spitting on a cop's shoe.