The highlight of tonight's Emmys so far (faint praise, I know) was Billy Eichner's Billy on the Street skit with Seth Meyers—an extended riff on how no one in New York gives a shit about the Emmys, including one woman who amazingly identified the award as a "Gobla."

During a welcomed reprieve from host Seth Meyers' snoozy jokes, Jimmy Kimmel raised the question we've all been pondering leading up to the Emmys: Man, I can't believe bona fide Movie Star (and Academy Award Winner) Matthew McConaughey is going to be at an awards show...for television.

During tonight's red carpet show on E!, Sarah Silverman showed host Giuliana Rancic the contents of her purse. One surprise? Her handheld vaporizer. "This is, uh, my pot," Silverman told a shocked Rancic.

It's Emmys time, on a Monday night in August. Why? Because NBC makes too much money airing football on Sundays in the fall to accommodate your needs. No matter! We're here, updating throughout the night with the ceremony's winners. Join us in the comments to air your grievances, cheer on your favorites, and make (good) jokes.

You may have heard that one-time hip-hop mogul Suge Knight was shot six times at Chris Brown's VMA pre-party this weekend. With all due respect to Suge Knight (?), this was not the most interesting aspect of Chris Brown's VMA pre-party. No, that was the hilarious guest list.

Star Magazine reports that after "spending all summer feasting and drinking on yachts," Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to lose ten pounds by autumn. Oh! But will he be able to overcome his love of pasta to meet his noble goal?

What does Gwyneth Paltrow think of Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence's newfound love? Oh, I'm glad you asked!

Last night, TMZ posted a story claiming—based on a statement from the Beverly Hills Police Department—former Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland was in jail after stealing razors from a CVS with a bunch of meth in his pockets. Turns out it was just some other guy, though. Whoops!

A cast member of VH1's nude dating show Dating Naked claims in a new lawsuit that VH1 accidentally aired an uncensored shot of her crotch on July 31.

Bad news if you liked ur boy's stash, 'cause ur boy just got rid of it. (Also ur boy's stash was disgusting and u got bad taste in boys and stashes, sry).

TMZ reports that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, celebrity couple seen often on event red carpets, have been separated and working with a divorce lawyer for months. The divorce, TMZ alleges, is "a done deal."

It's always tough when two celebrities call it quits. Everything in your life is the same, sure, but that only makes it more painful. Your morning coffee is just as it was yesterday, but you're drinking it in a world without them. Your commute home at night is just as it's always been, but you're making it in a world without them. When will it get easier?

What's the worst part about the modern day in-theater viewing experience? If you said "the fact that people can't take out their phones and send text messages about whatever they're thinking to be displayed on the screen for everyone to see" and you live in a major city in China, you're in luck!

Benedict Cumberbatch has been cast as the voice of Shere Khan in an upcoming adaptation of the Jungle Book. You might be thinking, "Hasn't Idris Elba already been cast as the voice of Shere Khan in the upcoming adaptation of the Jungle Book?" And the answer is yes! This is another one!

Known asshole Gene Simmons opened his garbage mouth and let a whole buncha shitty garbage fall out of it in a recent interview with SongFacts.com.

According to E! News, Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin have been taking their beautiful, similar-looking faces, shoving them together, and making sure the mouths touch.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez's on-again, off-again romance—that which gives us something to dream of at night and something to wake for in the morning—seems to be on-again. Or maybe it was quickly on-again, and has resumed being off-again? Hard to say!

Harry Styles, little bescarfed hair boy of your dreams, joke proposed to a fan dressed as a bride (not you) on stage at a performance in Philadelphia earlier this week. I'm so sorry!

The trailer for the Yahoo-presented sixth season of Community was released online last night, and boy does it make you aware of the fact that it's being presented by Yahoo!

According to Rupert Grint, fans can't tell if Rupert Grint (English red-headed white male) and Ed Sheeran (English red-headed white—WAIT) are one person or two people. Is the answer out there?