“Jennifer Lawrence Falls at Madrid Hunger Games Mockingjay Premiere.” Where have I heard something extremely similar to that before?

On the radio show Rove & Sam this morning, Chris Martin offered a peek into his old life with Gwyneth Paltrow, the woman from whom he “consciously uncoupled” (“consciously uncoupled”) last year. He made it sound bad.

Last night, Coldplay released their new song “Adventure of a Lifetime.” Let’s all agree that this song is 100 percent about having sex with a young movie actress immediately after your divorce.

Jennifer Lawrence, who recently vacationed with the comedian Amy Schumer, is now working on an as yet untitled film with her. Maybe you’ll see it, maybe you won’t, but consider this: There’s not really boys in it.

Jennifer Lawrence’s essay about Hollywood’s gender pay gap is quickly becoming a very popular way for idiot shit people to say regrettable things out loud, right out of their stupid mouths. David O. Russell, director of several mediocre Oscar winners, is the most recent shit person to do so.

Jeremy Renner, semi-recognizable professional pretender who once crashed a wedding, stayed for an hour, and refused to take photographs with the bride and groom, has something to say about attempting to close the gender pay gap: “that’s not my job.” Go on...

One of the fabulous things about being a celebrity is people will listen to you talk about anything you want to talk about—even if you straight up admit you have no idea what it is you’re talking about.

Coolest girls Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer, BFFs since that one time they met on vacation, did a cool thing: they danced on Billy Joel’s piano while he played “Uptown Girl” at Wrigley Field Thursday night, which is quite similar to the ending of Amy Schumer’s film Trainwreck (still in theaters, I think?). Too crazy and cool!

Us Magazine reports Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin have broken up. It’s sad, but as Oscar Wilde has written in numerous on-line images made for dissemination through Tumblr and Facebook, “The heart was made to be broken.”

Imagine your worst vacation. Wait—Imagine your best vacation. What you are now imagining is, the worst vacation a wealthy celebrity could possibly take with other celebrities. Now imagine Gwyneth Paltrow there. If you did this correctly, you have just imagined Jennifer Lawrence’s upcoming vacation.

It's hard to imagine the life of a young, beautiful, well-liked, and successful celebrity. What do they do, go to restaurants? Eat dumplings? Ahh, I don't know.

American movie star Jennifer Lawrence, 24, was spotted once again with British dad Chris Martin, 38, in New York City on Saturday. While Chris did just go on vacation with his estranged wife Gwyneth Paltrow, it appears his relationship with J-Law is hotter than ever. Like, Tavern on the Green hot.

Are Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper having sex? Yes, almost certainly. Why wouldn't they. However, Jennifer Lawrence would like to assure you (unprompted) there is "no sex" in their professional work spouse relationship—mmhm.

Cool kids on the debate team senior year Jennifer Lawrence, Adele, and Harry Styles caused a ruckus again on Saturday night, just one week after they terrorized patrons at Craig's restaurant in Los Angeles by throwing olives at them. The famous trio got together this time for Harry's 21st birthday at the Club.

Rowdy homeroom crew Jennifer Lawrence, Adele, and Harry Styles were spotted dining together at Craig's in Los Angeles this weekend, because they are friends. Page Six reports that the well-known threesome was "being loud and throwing olives at people walking by."

Two people, one dinner, and a mystery.

Jennifer Lawrence loves pizza, I bet. She seems like the type: chill, fun, etc. But how much pizza did she order one time recently, while she was hanging out with a purported new beau as, I can only guess, someone looked on from the bushes in order to report the event to the Daily News? If you had to guess?

It seems like the worst part about being a celebrity, aside from the loss of privacy the search for a dope enough swimming pool, is the fact that actors seem to love nothing more than terrible on-set pranks. On the set of Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1, Jennifer Lawrence completed her Hollywood prank ritual when she received a bunch of gross crickets.

Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Banks recently sat down to chat a little bit about the Hunger Games, and a lot about how Jennifer Lawrence basically has a penis and should participate in a threesome with Elizabeth Banks and Woody Harrelson. They have fun!

Soft rock dad Chris Martin seems to be doing fine after his breakup with 24-year-old acclaimed actress Jennifer Lawrence. At Kate Hudson's Halloween party last night, he hung out with ex-90210 actress Sara Foster, who was dressed like a business ballerina: