Details surrounding Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber's Ibiza fight continue to seep out—slowly, allowing us time to savor each new bite—and today's involves Leonardo DiCaprio "flicking" a fight-hungry Bieber away from Bloom's table.

When a video of pop star Justin Bieber making racist jokes was published last week by British tabloid The Sun, it was hard to tell who lost more: Bieber, or TMZ, which purchased the video years ago and has used it to extort appearances and call-ins from Bieber ever since.

The new Michelle Obama.

Paris Hilton is in Cannes this week along with just about every other celebrity on Earth, and on Sunday night she found herself at a nightclub with—who else?—Justin Bieber, who is in France to... rap battle with Wesley Snipes. Paris and Bieber left the club in a group, and it did not go well.

Justin Bieber gives the performance of a lifetime in the greatest deposition video you'll ever see. Watch and witness the incredible process of Bieber earning—hands down—the award for Tiniest, Most Insolent Asshole.

Even when he's not on stage, pop music's tiniest turd can't stop performing.

Justin Bieber arrived in Toronto on Wednesday to face a charge in connection to an alleged assault involving a limo driver in December. The 19-year-old singer, who was most recently spotted this weekend in Panama, turned himself in at the 52 Division police station where he was charged and then released of his own recognizance.

Such a sweet, nice mugshot for such a sad, vile boy.

A tiny dick-grabbing, sizzurp-guzzling menace is on the loose, egging neighbors, drinking drank, and texting cock. This person may or may not be Justin Bieber, but based on reports from law enforcement and leaked text messages, this person sounds an awful lot like Justin Bieber.

Come on, Lil Za. Justin Bieber's lil partner in crime was arrested for felony drug possession during Tuesday's search. But according to sources, Za was minutes from posting bail and being released when he "flipped out and smashed a phone in the jailhouse." He's now being re-booked on vandalism charges.

Justin Bieber, the Prince Charming of Calabasas, was detained in his garage this morning while Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies served a felony search warrant in his home related to an egging incident at his neighbor's house. According to Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore, Bieber is being "cooperative."

Miley's just bein Miley, Justin's just bein Justin, and Jesse Jackson's definitely just bein Jesse Jackson. Just a normal December day in Hollywood.

Sarah Silverman shared some amazing words about female genitalia; you can now rent your favorite Bravo reality stars; the musical Justins spark international incidents: Timberlake by adding two concerts in notoriously homosexual-hating Russia, and Bieber by lying about hanging with Mexico's president.

Robin Williams spanked Michael J. Fox, Zach Galifianakis spanked Justin Bieber, and Kanye west spanked Jimmy Kimmel, who basically spanked him right back.

Are you reading this while you're at work? You might want to put that letter opener back in your coffee-stained pencil cup before you read on.