Kristin Cavallari is currently pregnant with her first book (Balancing in Heels) and her third child (as yet unnamed, but perhaps it is helpful to note she named her first two kids Camden and Jaxon). By Defamer’s calculations, Kristin is well into her second trimester now, which is the perfect time for a pregnancy photo shoot.
Kristin Cavallari, whose debut book is due out in 348 days, recently filmed a television show, according to Kristin Cavallari. To inform the public of this new venture, she posted a photo of herself standing next to a (Catholic?) church clutching her pregnant stomach on Instagram.
Kristin Cavallari has all kinds of advice: drink bone broth; don’t vaccinate your children; buy my book; blah, blah blah. Yesterday, she offered another bit of her trademark uninformed counsel to fantasy football players: pick her husband, Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler, first round in the fantasy draft.
Since 2014, Kristin Cavallari has occasionally updated the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android with nonsensical items like “Best Bathing Suit For Different Body Types” and “The Secrets of Bone Broth,” which is her right as an American citizen. She has generously provided these semi-coherent musings free of charge...
In a recent interview with Elle (dot com), Kristin Cavallari made a characteristically aggressive statement about her adopted city of Chicago: “Chicago’s just not home.” The people of the Big Onion were upset, or course—not that Kristin cares. Her husband, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, is now working feverishly to mend some bombed out, totally destroyed, most likely utterly irreparable fences.
Here’s to the man who raised Kristin Cavallari: her dad, Dennis.
When Kristin Cavallari first announced her debut book back in January, she called it Balancing on Heels. Months later, she surreptitiously started referring to the tome as Balancing in Heels, and she has yet to explain why. If you thought that was enough messing around for one pamphlet full of vaccination advice, let me tell you something right now: Kristin is not done.
If you haven’t sent the dad in your life a gift for Father’s Day yet, it is basically too late—sorry. However, if you find a hole in the space-time continuum and decide to use it to go back in time to three days ago when you should have bought him a present, here are some shopping suggestions from Jay Cutler, husband of Kristin Cavallari.
See above.
As avid readers of the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android may remember, Kristin posted a “healthy living” tip about taking magnesium supplements on the app almost one year ago. The post itself is innocuous: Kristin takes magnesium because she thinks it will cure what so dreadfully ails her; she reminds the public that this is just her opinion and she is “obviously not a doctor.”
Do you have a particular outfit that you really regret wearing say 10, 15, or 20 years ago? If you can picture it in your head, and it is, indeed, regrettable, congratulations: you’re stylish. According to People, anyway.
Important message from Kristin Cavallari via the Official Kristin Cavallari App for iPhone and Android: there is an “exciting update” coming to the app. What could it be?
Someone other than Kristin Cavallari recently wore a pair of Kristin Cavallari for Chinese Laundry heels on the “red carpet.” Can you guess who it was?
In recent interview with Elle (dot com), Kristin Cavallari expressed distaste for the city of Chicago—the city that her husband plays football for, and the city that, just last month, she claimed to really “know.” Well, Kristin knows what she does not like. “Chicago’s just not home,” she told Elle (dot com).
If have been looking for relationship and/or general life advice from Kristin Cavallari—and god, why wouldn’t you be—you can probably find some in her book, due out in 363 days. Until then, we must make do with what we’re given, which is the wisdom found in a Twitter “live chat” with @KristinCav hosted by Cosmo and sponsored by Revlon.
While some people spend their days leading hiking tours of state parks or teaching algebra to our nation’s youth, others—namely the eponymous people at People magazine—spend their days coming up with reasons that Kristin Cavallari is even more stylish than we thought. (We at Defamer spend our days analyzing those reasons.)
It’s been 135 days since Kristin Cavallari commenced work on her debut memoir, The Book Formerly Known As Balancing on Heels, and I began following her efforts with this column. Though I have not yet been able to review Kristin’s work (365 more days), today she has chosen to review mine.
Today—June 8, 2015—is Kristin Cavallari’s second wedding anniversary with her husband, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler. Aww.
